Media Essays: Hazbin Hotel Rewrite

Written by The Wandering Fox

Freddy: Should we get the Cynical Crown out for this one?

Eh not for long Freddy, I have busier things to do.

Freddy: Yeah?

Teddy: He does! He’s got a bit of writing to get out there!

Freddy: Oh yes he does! But still, mind telling our readers what this is about?

Yes of course. Hey guys, it’s me the Wandering Fox again and I’m here to talk to you about my Hazbin Hotel rewrite. You see, I watched Season Two and thought it was nowhere near as good as I hoped it would be. There was too much in there, and by too much I mean too much lack of focus, hypocrisy, character bastardising, “twists”, you name it. While Season 1 was not perfect it was at least fun for a bit and you’d have hoped they’d have built off from that with more intrigue, but no. The biggest victims of this season’s bad writing included Charlie who took a level in stupidity that it makes Thomas Astruc look like a genius, not to mention she smiled at Angel’s r****t for helping her in spite of seeing how he treats Angel.

Alastor’s reveal to have been enslaved by Rosie was a bit underwhelming given the series really made it seem like it was Lilith he was in servitude of and the racist song between him and her was just blegh. It didn’t help how he seemed so chummy with Rosie in season 1.

Vox suddenly being a big badass villain who’s entire backstory flip flops between “He was a cult leader”, “He was a TV tycoon”, “He was shy and had a crush on Alastor”. He was annoying. The fact he and the Vees weren’t killed at the end of Season Two was just annoying, that and Angel goes back to Val and Charlie is like:

WHY YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!

The series didn’t explore much of what it means to be redeemed other than “If you say sorry and work hard you can get in Heaven”. They don’t even explore the subject of how the Sinners will be reunited with their victims in Heaven. So…by that logic, every p**o in hell can redeem themselves by saying sorry and then reunite with the children, who they may have killed, in Heaven?

Then there’s Abel, that character was badly handled :/ We got so little of what he thought of the fact his dad is dead, apparently Adam hated him which is bizarre, and he’s a bit of a doozy. It’s annoying cos he had a lot of interesting stuff going for him, but nope!

Then there’s Lucifer. The big man himself of Hell is a joke. Alright apparently it’s biblically accurate he can’t kill Sinners, but surely he can still make their lives miserable? If he can warp reality on Alastor, then I’m sure he can easily make Vox’s life a nightmare.

Lilith only appears twice in the series and does Jack all.

Overall, this season was bad and I shan’t return.

Teddy: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut?

Freddy: The rewrite?

Yes, the rewrite. With this I’ll try to give you a version of the series that could’ve worked. Yes, I know Viv had eight episodes to work with but the first three seasons of The Dragon Prince handled their pacing better with one extra episode a season, but if I was Viv I, would’ve dramatically cut back a lot of the stuff that made no sense to do in such a small runtime. That or I’d argue for more episodes. Well I’ll do what I can.

Overall I’d try and approach the series more maturely as well as certain biblical and historical figures have more nuance, Adam hating Sinners is a good idea but the fact he was done as a frat boy who was bigoted just took away any nuance, same with Lute. Sir Pentious’ sin being he didn’t stop Jack the Ripper implies that the cops who tried to stop him are in Hell, so I’m gonna work on what his Sin really was, y’know.

I will hint at what else there is to come in future, but I’m focusing on Season 1 and 2 as the rewrite is covering those for the moment. Before I begin I want to say as well if you liked how Hazbin Hotel has been, then that’s fine, but remember everybody is allowed to have their opinion, and mine is that I was not happy with Season 2. But let’s get on with the rewrite.

Season Structure

The first season instead focuses on the Hotel’s opening with Charlie meeting Alastor, Nifty, Husk, and Sir Pentious for the first time. Angel Dust and Sir Pentious are the two guests of the Hotel Charlie works on to help redeem. The Exorcisms are mostly in the background, but do play a role in the first season. The Vees are the main villains of this season as Alastor’s return, Charlie’s hotel and Angel leaving Val causes the Vee’s to lose control of their influence and try to ruin the hotel. Adam is more of a supporting character and he’s not a big mouth bigoted git anymore. Vaggie keeps her life as an Angel a secret but Alastor does start to figure out what she is. Lucifer is in the series, but is far darker of a character than he was before. As a side mention, Baxter appears in this series first, working for the Vees but seeing their obsession with the Hotel, he figures it will only ruin them and he goes to the Hotel, both out of curiosity and survival.

The second season sees Adam take on a more antagonistic role, but he still has his moments of doubt with his relationship with Abel, Cain and Lute being a big driving force, Sir Pentious’ sin is revealed, which only makes him far more of a big dealbreaker in Heaven, Cherri Bomb is forced to confront the sins she herself had committed, not just in life but in Hell, Alastor worms his way in through Charlie to get what he wants, Angel Dust fully commits to redemption if it means seeing his sister again in Heaven. Cain is the secret villain of the second season which forces Adam into a tough moment.

Oh and the seasons here cut back on the swearing and sex jokes. There’s still some, but not as much as they had in the series.

Angel’s abuse at the hands of Val is not treated as a joke and he’s not a punching bag either. Val doesn’t have any sympathetic traits, he’s just a full on arsehole who gets a thrill out of abusing and r*ping his victims.

The series also explores a subject they didn’t: should every Sinner be redeemed? Charlie believes every Sinner can be saved. Does that mean Val can be saved? What about all the p*dos, r*pists, serial murderers with no remorse, child murderers, cannibals, con artists who scammed lots of innocent folks out of their money and made sure they did poor? They never explore this. With me I will say it: no. There are certain Sinners who are beyond redemption. Now, I know others will try to bring up the Exorcisms, but I will say this: what is a fate worse than death? Silence and suffering. That is where Lucifer steps in.

Lilith’s role is built upon in Season 2. I will reveal why in the character section, but for the most part I’ll just say Lilith was weary of the life she'd chosen since leaving Adam, sick of the Sinners and left for Heaven. That’s what I’ll say of her for the moment here.

Cain is an overarching antagonist with him being the man who continued to Sin, cursed to live forever and wander the Earth, him killing Abel only saw more Sin come to Earth and Adam’s hatred for Sinners just grew and grew. Cain wandered the Earth for billions of years and only began to find out about how Heaven and Hell worked and after he disappeared, he began trying to get into heaven to seek his father, but seeing him and Abel only infuriated him. He since began to go to Hell, where he disguised himself as an Overlord and got his own “herd” of sheep to spite Abel, and also feel like he had some clout in Hell. Once the Exorcisms began, he started to form a plot to finally confront his father and brother.

The Exorcists weren’t created by Adam, they were either angels who lived for so long or they were Winners who joined the Exorcists to get revenge and punish the Sinners. I did this because it’s implied Vaggie is only eight while Charlie is two hundred.

Lute is more nuanced as well. Having met so many Sinners herself, she has only hatred for them and the Hell-born. Unlike her TV self who has homophobic tendencies, which is silly because there are surely gays in heaven, she just finds it disgusting to think and see any Sinner or Hell-born is capable of love, it’s why she’d be grossed out by Charlie and Vaggie, for she simply sees Vaggie as a traitor and Charlie is Lucifer’s daughter, she thinks the latter isn’t able to love and the former has sinned for trying to help Sinners. It’s the same with Adam, it’s silly he’d hate gays when there are bound to be gays in heaven, as well as how Churches in the last few years have legalised same sex marriages and accepted gay priests.

With the overall season explored, let’s look into certain characters who need a good rewrite.

Characters

Just note I can’t do everybody so I’m gonna do the characters I feel need the most to be worked on.

Charlie

In Season 1 she was mostly a naïve woman who didn’t really realise what she was getting herself into, and Season 2 she became a great big idiot who willingly let Vox and Velvet in the Hotel despite knowing their connections to Val and didn’t seem bothered Alastor was captive by the Vees.

The rewrite sees Charlie as somebody who had a sheltered life and was mostly oblivious to what had been going on beyond the palace. With Lilith disappearing, Charlie went out to find her and truly saw the utter crap sack Hell was, which horrified her and left her relationship with Lucifer strained. Charlie was met with hatred by the Hell-born and fear by certain Sinners, some of whom tried to have their way with her. Then there were Sinners like drug addicts or accidental killers who truly were miserable in hell and hated what they did. Then there was the Overlords who had more power over the Imps and Hellhounds and controlled lesser Sinners. That is when Charlie began thinking of the Hotel to redeem those who had Sinned. Charlie still retains some naivety as upon building the hotel, she blindly thinks she can now save any Sinner, but she was met with laughter or disgust. She meets Vaggie who, after losing an eye, was hidden in the streets and discarded her Angel armour, but kept an angelic knife on her. Charlie saved Vaggie after she was almost drugged and nursed her back to health, thinking she was simply a Sinner. Charlie heard out her fears of Hell, though also saw not everybody here was truly as evil as she thought. Charlie helped her and Vaggie fell for her. Sharing her wishes with Vaggie, Charlie was led to Angel Dust, who helped Vaggie out by lending her some cash to rent out a few places, hence Charlie took him in as thanks for helping Vaggie and giving him a good place to stay.

Charlie though was still naïve and thought simply taking Sinners to her Hotel was enough but Angel kept relapsing, which made her annoyed and frustrated, but she still tries. Charlie took up Alastor’s offer despite Vaggie and Angel Dust’s unease with him, but Charlie was desperate for the help and took Alastor on. With Husk and Nifty as proper staff with Alastor, then having Razzle and Dazzle as her bodyguards and Key Key as the key guard, Charlie got a bit excited and tried advertising the Hotel on Katie Killjoy’s show, but was met with laughter. With Alastor suggesting they advertise it on their own, Charlie agreed and took advice from Husk and Vaggie about how she needs a proper plan in place to redeem the sinners, hence she, Husk and Vaggie would serve as therapists for Angel Dust though, Alastor would mock him there. Sir Pentious was taken in after he found himself too scared to hurt Charlie or Vaggie, which had them see there was something more to him.

Charlie though has her faith and confidence damaged a bit here and there whether it’s Val’s treatment of Angel causing her to sever their contract and almost goes on a power binge of trying to sever all contracts, or it’s a truly evil Sinner taking advantage of her Hotel, it has her feel like she’s not that good enough or she’s being a fool. It takes a lot to cheer her up or take her back from using her magic aggressively. Her biggest moment of difficulty is her going to Heaven and hears out from a few Winners who are scared of being reunited with the Sinners who killed them or hurt them, forcing her to accept the hard truth:

Not everybody can be redeemed.

With this, she now knows if she wants her hotel to work, she has to truly see what Sins have the Sinners done and whether they’re worth redeeming or not. But she stands up to Adam that she needs to do this herself and not have any violence or Heaven getting involved. Charlie basically had to take off her rose tinted glasses. She will fight to protect those she cares about and she ends up doing more to Val than you think. ;)

Alastor

He’s mostly alright in the show aside from some iffy implications about his race being represented or his relationship with Rosie, or how he didn’t even kill Vox in the finale.

First of all, he didn’t make a deal with Rosie, especially while he was alive. He was killed by the cops after he was caught eating people and he ended up in Hell. Alastor made a name for himself as the Radio Demon with his radio frequencies being tough to deal with for any Sinner as he could take control of any radio tech, as well as brainwashing others, he was a frequent and well respected visitor at Cannibal Town, he enslaved Husk and Nifty, he felt proud and pleased to be in Hell. But he wanted more, he wanted to be the strongest Sinner in Hell, to be as strong as Lucifer. That’s is when, seven years before the start of the series, he made a deal...

With Lilith.

Yes, I’m going there. I don’t like that excuse of “He was disappeared by Rosie or doing things for her”. It doesn’t help he was missing for seven years just as long as Lilith was gone for.

The deal he made with Lilith was this: if he killed a few Sinners on Earth for her then she’d make him the strongest Sinner in Hell, just as long as he looked after Charlie to make sure no harm came to her. Alastor agreed and did so for her, but the deal didn’t give him what he was hoping for. She stuck him with Charlie as the way of saying “You’re the most powerful Sinner because you’re working for my daughter”. Alastor was annoyed by the technicality of the deal, so he’s been instead plotting to truly be stronger by making a deal with Charlie once she’s at her lowest. He doesn’t really care for the Hotel, he doesn’t think Sinners can be redeemed but with him bound to look after Charlie, he can’t leave, but he’s getting the act up as well as he can so he can get the deal out of Charlie, which is to make him more powerful than her and her father. He also gets the final humiliation on Vox by tearing his head off and even interferes with his static, smugly giving him to Lucifer to “take care of him”.

Though Alastor does start to get conflicted as he does feel for Charlie missing her mother and that Husk has truly found a friendship with Charlie and something with Angel, with Sir Pentious’ redemption leaving him stunned enough, he starts to think that maybe he himself could be redeemed if only to be with his mum again. Though that begins to darken. He starts to think why be the most powerful in Hell if he can be the most powerful in Heaven?

His relationship with Charlie is explored as well. He at first just sees her as a chore to look after but then realises she’s his biggest prey yet. With her he can get all the power he wants. It’s why he takes her on to his radio show and comments how radio may not be as sought after as it used to be, it will get a boost in listeners with her on there, he’s just using her to get over on Vox in cranking his empire back up. He even isn’t above wanting to hurt her as he forces Vaggie to help him after he finds out she’s an angel. Though he has to convince her not to sever all contracts as there’s some that had been made out of true care and she’d only turn the Sinners on her. But as the series goes on, he starts to see her as something maybe more than a friend, maybe a family member, a student, with her opening up to him of how much she misses her mother makes him feel guilty for lying to her about Lilith, opening up to her of how in life the only person he ever loved was his mother and though he knows he has done horrid things, he still loves her to this day. Charlie gets him to open up to her more, with him feeling comfortable with her enough that once his softness fades, he offers her the chance to be as powerful as he is, over Heaven, Hell, over everything. He’s a bit miffed she doesn’t take up on it and so he accepts that maybe he just needs to hurt her to get his point through to her, to see that even he, her friend, can’t be redeemed at all.

Angel Dust

With the series reducing him to being a punching bag and his trauma and abuse being treated as a joke in certain episodes, I’m making sure Angel Dust’s story is better handled.

He’s a struggling drug addict in hell, but in life he was a member of the Mafia who took pleasure in killing rival gangsters, took drugs and had intense group sex. But that changed after he killed a gangster in front of his kid and it left Angel to fall into a destructive fall and in his guilt, he turned against his dad and killed him before he was fatally injured.

In Hell, Angel Dust saw that there was infinite ways he could feed himself on his destructive desires whether that’d be drug or sex work or going out and getting in a turf battle against Sir Pentious with Cherri Bomb. Angel Dust became popular in Hell for mostly his sex work, which caught the eyes of the Vees. Angel Dust however met his father again in Hell and that guilt just took over and they battled and battled until Val stepped on in and brainwashed Angel’s father into being his slave. It’s then that Val made a deal with Angel to make him his star if he worked for him. Angel agreed, but he was given abuse, physically, emotionally and mentally, with Velvet experimenting her drugs on him that only had Val abuse him more. Angel Dust stick on a façade to hide his pain and he fell into the persona he set up for himself, which Cherri Bomb could see but didn’t exactly care as she enjoyed the thrill he brought to battling Sir Pentious. It didn’t stop Angel in showing he had a kind heart in giving Vaggie money to rent her own place, which then brought him to Charlie. Though Angel at first was mostly going there for free food and a comfy bed to himself, he wasn’t really interested in redemption because he felt he did enough wrong in life. He did end up envious of Sir Pentious getting a lot of care and help. Though he quite fancied Husk, Angel was being his façade around him, who saw through it and gave him some tough love, with Husk telling Angel Cherri Bomb needs to get her head in gear if she really cares for him. But Angel’s life truly started to turn after Charlie went to Val to try and talk him out of the contract he set with Angel, but after she saw how Val treated him, Charlie severed it herself and took Angel back to the hotel where she’d keep him safe. Angel felt nervous, but everybody gave him support, with Charlie helping him battle Val with her cutting Val’s wings and Angel finally kills him.

Angel thinks he has to try to redeem himself to see his sister again after Sir Pentious redeemed himself. With Cherri Bomb coming to see she made things harder for him, Husk helping him with his friendship with Charlie and Vaggie stronger, Angel truly starts to better himself. Though Angel still has his other enemy to handle with his dad freed of Vox, he torments him again but Angel isn’t as fearful of him as he was before with Husk, Charlie, Cherri there for him. He and Husk do feel something for each other, but Husk says he’s not sure if he can do that now, what with him being enslaved to Alastor, but he hopes to find a way around that.

Sir Pentious

With his backstory in that he was an inventor who was terrified of Jack the Ripper and was too scared to stop him being why he was in Hell, as well as his relationship with Cherri Bomb being incredibly hard to take, I think Sir Pentious needs a bit of a rewrite.

While his backstory with Jack the Ripper is still there, Sir Pentious’ sin was not that he failed to stop him, it was the destructive desire for justice that was born out of it that got him in Hell. The guilt ate up inside Sir Pentious that he would invent little gadgets to go out and punish criminals, be it those already in jail as he felt they didn’t deserve to live, but he ended up killing a good guy who tried to stop Jack and he ended up in Hell. Cos he was there for so long Sir Pentious forgot why he was there, just having this destructive urge of killing and wanted control. He would end up working with Baxter on their inventions but Baxter was annoyed by Sir Pentious’s desires he left to work for the Vees. Sir Pentious was humiliated by Alastor and Cherri, but with his lab gone he sought out Baxter, who led him to Vox and got him to spy on the hotel. Though he was met with uncertainty, Sir Pentious was treated well by Charlie, which awoke something in him but Angel Dust figured him out as a spy. Charlie forgave him and knew then that Vox was trying to stop the Hotel, but Charlie forgiving him confused Sir Pentious and he began to see he was being a lot kinder to his Egg Bois. With Charlie, she helped him begin to understand that he was trying to kill Sinners because he hates them. He wanted to punish them. But he didn’t know why. He would get protective of Nifty here and there whether it was Sinners trying to kill her or she was almost crushed, and would come to Angel Dust to help him if he was running into trouble with debt dealers, with Charlie realising he must have some form of guilt.

He would be respectful to Cherri Bomb, but I’m not shipping him and her, it’s just too hard to take in. His change in behaviour as well as Angel Dust does earn Adam’s curiosity in redemption, but he still thinks they will be in Hell.

Sir Pentious gives up his life for Charlie by taking an angelic sword for her that Val was trying to stab her with. With him in Heaven, Sir Pentious stuns everybody, with Adam having a bit of a moral dilemma as this Sinner was redeemed and also once had his hatred for other Sinners. Sir Pentious does feel lonely at first, feeling he doesn’t deserve to be here even after his Sin was revealed, though Emily tried to make him feel welcome, creating Angelic Egg Bois for him. Sir Pentious would become a celebrity in heaven and would help make inventions for Winners, though Emily takes him to Hell to see Charlie and proves Sinners can be redeemed. Charlie hugs him and asks if he’s alright, to which he says it’s been hard to live in Heaven but he feels good. Sir Pentious has a bit of a hard relationship with Adam who bitterly tells him he may have redeemed himself, but that doesn’t mean he can forgive all Sinners, but Abel is curious of Sir Pentious with him wondering if Cain can be redeemed. Sir Pentious helps Emily in stopping Cain destroying Heaven with him helping her after a wing of hers is injured.

The Vees

The Vees don’t survive beyond Season 1, they are utterly evil and deserve to die.

Vox retains his old life as a cult boss with the TV influence coming from how he would brainwash his subjects into watching videos that made them see things his way, with him hoping to take to TV to get his point out to the audience, but he was killed before he could get to the Talk Show. He was a rival of Alastor, who often interfered with his technical works to retain an audience, with them both battling out who had the most to obey them. With this, Vox thought he won after Alastor disappeared for seven years. He was hoping to get Charlie in as a supporter of his industry, but seeing Alastor was working with her and then seeing her severe Val’s contract with Angel left Vox livid with envy, envious that Alastor got the princess to be his friend and envious of the fact Charlie was still more powerful than he was. He tried to smear Charlie and act like she was taking away his achievements, trying to brainwash Angel Dust into coming back to Val, then he would force Carmilla Carmine to give him the Angelic Tech she had or he would expose her to Adam. Vox would end up beaten by Alastor, who tore his head from his body and gave him to Lucifer, who turned Vox to stone.

Velvet though is known for being the fashion icon and designer of the Vees as well as the socials manager, she does create drugs that she sells to r*pists to give to their victims. With Charlie making it clear the hotel is free of drugs and she’s trying to stop it, Velvet ends up livid and ends up trying to ruin Charlie’s hotel by sneaking in drugs in the hotel, then she finds out Carmilla killed an angel and explains to Vox about it. to which he forces Carmilla to give him some Angelic tech. Velvet fights Charlie, Nifty and finally Carmilla, who kills Velvet with her angelic tipped slippers.

Val is what he is. He’s an evil git who has sadistic joy in doing what he does to Angel and his other victims, feeling he owns them and that he is the master of their lives. He is left shocked and livid that Charlie severed his contract and tries to have Angel return to him but Sir Pentious saves him. Val hopes to take Angel back in the final but Charlie severs his wings and Val is killed by Angel, who shoots him in the groin with an angelic bullet then in the forehead.

Adam, Lute, Abel

With Adam, he isn’t a big mouthed bigoted git as he could be written as a far more complex character than what the show gave us. He does retain his hatred of Sinners and Lucifer, which is delved into. His misogyny was something he struggled with as he thought he was doing the right thing with Lilith and was confused as to why she left, hence that has faded over these years especially in coping with Cain’s sins and leaving his home. That and the reason he called Vaggie that was because he thought “Valarie and Agatha as a joint name was just awesome as Vaggie”. Adam hates Sinners as they remind him of Lucifer ruining his home and that Cain killed Abel, though he has a softer side in which he is friends with a few Winners, taking in how they were treated, making sure Abel is alright in herding them, he even took up a few modern pop culture jokes thanks to meeting a few dead icons. With the Exorcists and Lute he’s proud of them, feeling he helped them get better after they were treated badly in life, which is why he’s livid upon finding out an Exorcist was killed.

Though he hates Lucifer, he’s cordial with Charlie with how she is Lilith’s daughter, though he throws in a few jabs her way as he thinks redeeming Sinners is dumb and disgusting, he does see that she truly believes she can do this, which earns his curiosity. He tells her that he’s willing to leave the Hotel alone as well as any Sinners who are there, but he wants to see if she can do it. He’s curious but he still thinks she will fail, though he’s quite surprised by how Sir Pentious and Angel Dust are doing, with him in a moral dilemma after Sir Pentious ends up in heaven. He’s weary and angry, having watched the final fight and sees Hell has obtained angelic tech and thinks that Hell will rebel, but he wonders how many lesser Sinners he’s killed that could be redeemed. He talks with Abel of Cain and they do think of how if Cain truly repented for his sins then maybe they’d forgive him, for Abel wants only peace. He confesses to Lute and Sera he hated his child for so long for keeping Sin going, but now maybe he might just give Charlie a chance. Adam does have his patience tested as his envoy is hurt and locks Heaven up. In the end, Adam is badly injured by Cain who shoots him with the laser canon with Lute losing her arm, leaving Adam’s fate unknown as Abel and Charlie defeat Cain before Adam is taken back to Heaven.

It’s Adam who gets the issue out to Charlie: does she really want to redeem certain sinners like p*dos? He doesn’t want those like them up in Heaven, which has Charlie think twice on what she’s doing. Though there is a darker side to Adam as it’s revealed he let Lilith in Heaven as she had become fed up of living in Hell with the Sinners, she offered Adam the chance to kill as many Sinners. He would let her come to heaven if she discreetly killed a few sinners on Earth. Lilith wasn’t too pleased with him asking her of this, that’s why she asked Alastor, he’d give her the souls, she’d give them to Adam, then he’d let her in, but she made them both swear to let Charlie be unharmed. Though Adam and Alastor don’t know of the other being there with Lilith.

He still loves rock music though and it’s said in every clap of thunder it’s him playing with the Exorcists dancing to him.

Lute has her bigotry cut as again, it’s strange she would be bigoted as there’s got to be gays in Heaven. Her hatred for the Sinners is because of her experiences with them, every Sinner she has battled has been utterly evil, with her thinking all Sinners are the same like the Hell-born, to her they are evil and don’t have any way of having love. It’s why she spared Vaggie, to let her live in Hell and see just how it’s a horrid place to be. Though she is unfriendly to Sir Pentious. she is at least willing to leave him alone and work with him in stopping the laser canon. He and Emily do make a point that Cain is Adam’s son and he wrought sin in the world which leaves her a bit iffy. She doesn’t disrespect Abel, she thinks he’s not ready to stand for Heaven like Adam, but she respects him for looking after the Winners. Though she thinks Sinners aren’t worth it, she bitterly confesses maybe not all of them deserve to die but surely those that are that evil don’t deserve to come to Heaven. It’s why she gets a bit excited at the thought of Lucifer turning the wicked into stone. Though she and Vaggie won’t ever be friends again, she at least gives Vaggie respect for surviving in Hell.

Abel is not the dopey dimwit in the show. He is a guardian who is dedicated to looking after the Winners, but he is quite a bitter guy who is gutted at how things went on with Cain and though he’s the oldest Winner, he felt lonely for so long, hence upon Adam’s death he always sought advice from him in how to look after the Winners. Though he’s kind, Abel is quite iffy on Sinners being redeemed as he fears for the Winners being back with those who killed or hurt them. Though meeting Sir Pentious changed his mind a little, he is still unsure but he does think of what it’d mean to reunite with Cain and explains to Charlie if he could ,he’d maybe forgive Cain if he truly fessed up to his Sins. Though he is left unsure as Cain tried to kill him and Adam in the final, though he has been cordial enough to Charlie to urge her to find lesser Sinners to redeem.

Eve

Eve herself is mostly in heaven and while she’s more gentler and softly spoken compared to Adam, she herself has no love for Lucifer. Unlike the show which implies Lucifer took her as well as Lilith, Eve was seduced into taking the apple and she was forced to leave her home with Adam and Abel’s death by Cain has Eve filled with guilt for spreading sin onto Earth. Though she was forgiven by God, Eve’s name was tarnished in the Medieval Ages with her mistake being done to enforce misogyny on women, with many Winners ending up in Heaven because they were murdered by men who believed the sins on Earth were the mess of Eve, thus she hates Lucifer and hates Lilith for helping him. She is protective of her children with Abel and Seth often doted on by her while she and her daughters tend to women who have been wronged in life. Though she thinks Adam can be silly with his obsession with rock music, she loves him so much for sticking with her after being exiled out of Eden. While Adam tolerates Charlie, Eve regards her with mere coldness and while Charlie tries to talk to her, Eve just bluntly tells Charlie that she doesn’t want anything to do with those who are tied to Lucifer. While she thinks Charlie is being noble, she wishes that Cain could be redeemed but he can’t because thanks to Lucifer, Cain had sinned and killed Abel and now walks Earth forever. Eve knows that Lilith is in heaven and while she agrees that she gave Adam a good deal, she makes it clear to Lilith she doesn’t trust her and if she gives even a faint hint that she’d turn against heaven then she’d kill her. Eve and Lucifer briefly see each other with her scowling in utter disgust at him before flying back to heaven with her husband and son after they and Lute were injured by the laser.

Cain

Cain is the secret antagonist of the first few seasons of the rewrite. He was cursed by God to wander the Earth forever, to never die for killing Abel. Cain would be a bogeyman to humans and tormented them, killing those who he felt didn’t deserve greatness. However, upon finding out about Heaven and Hell, Cain would use his magic to try and lurk around Heaven unseen, hoping to reunite with his dad, but he was livid to find not only was Heaven a paradise, but Abel was there, rewarded with herding the Winners and making angelic fleeces. He would then sneak into Hell and would take on the most sickening of Sinners under him, having his own herd to spite Abel. With the Exorcisms going on, Cain saw a chance to get back at Adam and Abel with him snatching up the spare angelic tech the Vees left in their skyscraper, taking in a few more of their former servants like Angel’s dad, and would go after a heavenly envoy to hell to try and get both sides to fight each other while channelling his own angelic blood into a laser canon. He’d reveal himself to Adam and Abel, both of whom were gutted to see him with them both saying they were thinking of finding and forgiving him. Cain snidely remarks they had thousands of years too. He badly injures Adam with his laser canon and tears off Lute’s left arm, but is blinded during the fight. He went missing after this fight, maybe licking his wounds afterwards

Lucifer

Last character to get this amount of focus. Lucifer is a more mysterious character in the rewrite. He’s quite prideful and his rebellion against God was what made him the first Fallen Angel. With the Goetia and the Sins, he has resided over Hell but he’s been forced to live with the Sinners, unable to kill them. Though he could torment them, he found it hard to live with them, which made his relationship with Lilith dull. He would be surprised that he was contacted by Heaven with an offer to kill the Sinners. He agreed as long as the Hell-born and his daughter weren’t hurt, he wanted the Sinners dead as he hated being stuck with them, though he is a bit apathetic to Hell-born though he felt proud to have created Charlie with Lilith and kept her safe within the castle. Charlie was his biggest pride as well as having Lilith, the first woman as her mum, though him sheltering her would only drive a wedge between him and her once she went out of the castle and saw what Hell was like. Lucifer would send Razzle and Dazzle out to guard her, though he was bitter at the argument he didn’t even pay the Hotel much mind until she called him. Lucifer offered to make it grander, but Alastor would torment him about how he stepped in, he a mere Sinner stepped in to help. Lucifer would tell Charlie that he could get her to Heaven.

Lucifer would step in upon seeing his daughter’s struggle with the Vees. With Vox decapitated, Lucifer turns him to stone and would remind every Sinner that he is the King of Hell, going after his daughter means they go after him. Lucifer then realises that he can’t kill Sinners, but he can warp them, alter their realities, turn them into whatever he wants. He then gets involved in talking things through with Heaven with him explaining that the Sinners who are beyond redemption will be his toys to play with, that is a fate worse than death. This is a way to stop anymore damage to Hell then as well as giving Lesser Sinners a chance while stopping the Winners feeling frightened of reuniting with those that had killed or terrorised them.

Lucifer is annoyed though that Cain was coming in and out of Hell here and there and would be bitter at having to work beside Adam to save Heaven. He could tell Adam had something on his mind that he wasn’t telling him that only has Lucifer wanting to find out more.

Other characters:

Saint Peter is more biblically accurate in that he’s Middle Eastern and often has a knife on him as a reminder that he is the man who cut off the ear of a man who tried to hurt Jesus, he’s a lot bulkier looking and has a beard. There’s a comical gag with him kicking a few souls out to Hell with many sinners left with a imprint of a foot, with the Sinners saying “Saint Peter sent us”.

Emily is a little shy at first but is willing to hear Charlie out though she herself comes to confess that even she knows not every Sinner can be saved. Emily does end up having a good friendship with Sir Pentious, maybe something more?

Husk does come out of his shell a bit more thankfully with him friendly to Charlie and Vaggie. Though he’s fearful of Alastor he does jab him here and there, while having fondest for Angel enough that he stands up to Cherri Bomb for enabling his darker tendencies. He comes to love Angel Dust but he wants to redeem himself or work on his gambling habits before he has a relationship with him, as well as getting out of his contract with Alastor.

Nifty has a thing for music and puppetry which is something Charlie and Baxter find adoring and Charlie works through her trauma to help her.

Carmilla is quite secretive which only has Alastor and Velvet curious. Though Carmilla keeps quiet upon helping kill Velvet Alastor goes with Vaggie to confront her with Vaggie making her promise to keep hold of the angelic weapons she’s got to stop anybody from coming after Charlie though Alastor forced her to craft him an angelic speaker.

Cherri Bomb has a lot to take on as she realises she enabled a lot of Angel’s destructive side which has her see she wasn’t really a good friend, which has her see that she needs to be way better than what she is.

Baxter does work for the Vees on the first season but he sees their hatred for Charlie and Alastor as having a negative impact on their empire and since then he left them before them with him going and telling Charlie of what they’re doing. He stays in the Hotel cos he’s curious if redemption works.

That’s just about it with the characters.

Basically, the series is more character focussed, the hotel has a point to exist, the Vees are the villains of the first season with them falling to their jealousy and hatred that gets them killed or imprisoned. Angel and Sir Pentious are focussed on as well as Charlie learning it’s not as simple as she thought.

The second season is focussed on Heaven more with Cain as the bad guy while Angel Dust makes good progress, Adam is met with the chance of redemption that makes him think twice on everything.

But I’ve ended the rewrite ambiguously as while I do have a vision for how Hazbin Hotel ends, I’m waiting to see what there is to come. I won’t watch it I’ll just keep an eye out on what’s going on. But I will say that Alastor is revealed to be the secret true villain of the series with him embracing his evilness as a final jab to Charlie.

Freddy: Well, this could earn you some heated focus.

Teddy: Yeah, hope this isn’t gonna attract any crazies.

I hope not guys. Remember, if you loved Hazbin Hotel that’s alright, I was upset with how the series turned out but if you did like it please be respectful in the comments.

Support the blog here on my Patreon page.