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Media Essays: My Favourite Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog 33rd Anniversary Special)

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Written by The Wandering Fox


I thought I’d do this since Sonic’s anniversary is close, so I thought I’d talk about the favourite incarnations of Tails there is.


Those of you who know me will know I love Tails. He’s kind, he’s incredibly clever, he has lots of courage within him, he’s relatable in his wishes in growing up, and he is underrated by today’s standards with how much SEGA and Flynn forgotten his other powers with the fact he can slice things up with his tails, can turn super, has created more gadgets beyond a tablet and a little laser pistol. SEGA is trying to do him better but we’ve yet to see how much they’re willing to stick with it, for though Frontiers, Murder and Dream have lots of promise they have a way to go yet.


This is about the Tails’s I’ve had exposure to so don’t expect the likes of Sonic X to be on this. The only different incarnation of Tails I just hate is this piece of s*** right here.

Miles

He’s evil. Yes, you can have good villains, but like Scourge he is just boring, repulsive, a coward, oh and then there’s the hints of his crazy relationships with Alicia and Rosy. Ugh.

Still, I’ll start with my least favourites to my top faves.


Archie Tails

Archie Tails

Yeah, this might be a surprise. Thing is what I love of Archie Tails is the early lore built in for his character, yet Karl, Ken and Ian just screwed him over when he could’ve had a rich story arc. I love the idea of Sonic being there at his birth, I love the idea of Amadeus, Rosemary and Merlin, or him being eleven or twelve, heck I don’t mind the Chosen One idea for him, and they gave him some neat super forms like Turbo Tails. The sad thing is they just screwed up his character in so many ways from his powers to his personality and story.


I think the first instance they screwed up was with the Tails clone Mammoth Mogul had created. I didn’t like it cos it just robs Tails of some of his own character story and just dwarfs him with him being caught in his Turbo form, then we had the Titan Tails crap, yet then Karl, Ken and Ian to me had it out for him for some strange reason.


Let’s get Fiona out of the way. We all know they screwed her up from her age, timeline, personality, story, then Ian sent her off with her rapist. Thing is, they all had Fiona as a plot device to create a rift between him and Sonic, which you just don’t do. Then we has Fiona running away with her rapist and slaps Tails in a hideous comic panel which you know Ian and Tracey just loved doing, then Ian thinks of turning Amadeus and Rosemary into idiots who want to rule New Mobotropolis instead of focussing on their son, Sonic being a utter asshole in regards to his mum and dad and bragging of how Tails “worships” him, then we has Sonic’s poorest apology ever as he only dated Fiona to keep her away from Tails, which is just flat out OOC and manipulative.


It doesn’t end there, Flynn just had Tails become this angry, petty person which I just don’t see Tails doing, from his angry outburst in the SU East story, to him being so grumpy in his own SU arc, then there’s how he turned him into a bloody punchbag when Tails did defeat Scourge before, nulling down his own achievements, and even dumbed down his Chosen One story in which he didn’t event do the hard work and Ian said “Oh he lost his powers, he can’t use Chaos anymore cos, uh, SEGA don’t want him to have powers anymore”. Sonic Mania says hello, Ian.


Just like everybody in Archie, his story ended with a big white space fart.


I may not like what happened to Archie Tails, though I still like the early stuff with him, hence I do keep elements like Amadeus, Rosemary, Merlin, the Chosen One, Sonic being there at his birth. And Fiona as his love.


Sonic Boom Tails

Boom Tails

Just cos I’m starting with least favourites doesn’t mean I hate them. Boom Tails I do like cos of his belts and goggles, it’s kinda like a neat upgrade I can see Tails wearing if he were to get older, he’s got some neat inventions like his alternate Tornado, his lasso. Heck, I hate to admit it but there’s another reason why I like him, it’s cos he got the girl. While I’m not a fan of Zooey, I can at least be happy this Tails broke the multiverse block on him not having a relationship.


What does keep me from liking him more is the fact he, like all the others, have incredibly dumb moments which don’t suit the characters, such as him licking walls, creating a robot called UT which just reads people’s minds, or his humiliating moments like getting eaten by some squid or making him petty enough to be angry with Sonic. Uh, think it should be nailed in, trying to create a lot of stress between Sonic and Tails does not work, just look at Archie and Lost World.


Still, he’s better than Miles.


Nine

Nine

You guys might be thinking why I even like him if he’s not exactly a good guy. Y’ see, unlike Miles who is just evil and is such a boring villain in which he’s just Evil Tails, Nine does have some qualities to him of which I like.


I can actually see him as an alternate Tails who didn’t meet Sonic, he grew up scared, alone, hurt, bullied, with him becoming a closed off miserable cynic who just wants to be alone yet deep down wants a friend, I have lots of sympathy for him and I can understand why he finds it difficult to trust others, yet the moment he gets a chance to have happiness, he’s obsessed with it and that is surprisingly quite true to those who have been so alone, though obviously not to the point like Nine. He also is a fine example of how if Tails sunk his entire mind in his tech he would actually be a lot more dangerous if he didn’t have the morales of his main self.


The gripes I have with Nine is he’s a bit predictable, but I was hoping it’d be executed well, I just knew he was going to be the main villain as soon as we heard Tails say “Nothing can break our friendship, Sonic”. If they executed it well enough I’d be much forgiving, yet they didn’t. He just ends up disliking his other selves, thinks Sonic is going to kill him if he restores the Paradox Prism just cos we’re told Sonic is projecting Tails onto him. I said before if Nine had listened to Sonic and Shadow talking of how to restore their own universe, and he heard Shadow say “We refit the shards, everything goes back to normal, but this all wouldn’t have happened”. Nine freaks out and dashes off before even hearing Sonic argue against Shadow.


The series had such a crappy ending yet even then this season had turned Nine in an idiot who just kept doing the same thing over and over. He does redeem himself yet with how the universe is back to normal we don’t even know if Nine still lives in the Grim or if he’s been sent back to live a bad life in New Yoke City.


Though Nine did have his flaws, I will take him over Miles any day.


AoStH Tails

AoSTH Tails

I’ll be honest, I just like him. Yeah, AoStH is way zanier and more hilarious, yet I like how Tails here just has this innocent thing to him. Yeah, he makes mistakes though with this being a younger Tails, I can let it slide. I like as well how here it’s stories of him and Sonic having fun just like the best buddies they truly are supposed to be.


He even has some badass moments in which he escapes Robotnik by himself here and there, so I like him for those.


Movie Tails

Movie Tails

With Sonic coming to the movies, it was obvious Tails would be there. I was incredibly nervous of this as I feared they would bungle up his character. While I’m not fully happy with his movie self, he was handled much better than I thought. His overall friendliness and his heart to heart with Sonic in the bar just won over me with Tails. He even takes part in the final battle with him being of much help in distracting Robotnik to help knock the Master Emerald out of him, he even has quite a few moments in which he defeats Knuckles, he runs him over with a cop car, then shocks him.


The only things I’m not happy with is the fact they had him knocked out so we could have Rachel hogging the screen while Maddie uses his tech to save him and Sonic. It should’ve been his moment. Maddie could’ve grabbed him and hid him from GUN, wakes him up and he saves Sonic.


Tails was who he is in this movie, he’s nice, he’s brave, has some neat tech and has so much respect for Sonic while having some wit to him here and there, I am happy with him. Just don’t mess him up in Sonic 3.


SEGA Tails

SEGA Tails

Well this is a surprise, the last on the list is SEGA Tails. Yeah, SEGA Tails has had it hard from being fearful to fight Dark Gaia, his dumb clash with Sonic, then the utter trash they did to him in Sonic Forces. But it doesn’t stop me from loving him and the good stuff he did achieve in the games.


Tails fought the Battle Birds by himself, his story in SA1 was the beginning of a story which should’ve ended years ago yet still heartwarming and how he had the almighty balls to take on Eggman’s Egg Walker, his humble response to the cheers. There’s his determination in stopping Eggman in SA2 even after he thought Sonic died, then there’s him killing Black Arms with his tails while guarding the president.


Like I said SEGA is trying to do him better, I have to give them credit. Tails is basically the kind of hero we can look to if we’re sad, his kindness, his overall friendliness and determination and refusal to give up is something we can all look to.

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