Media Essays: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Rewrite Part 1

Written by The Wandering Fox

Freddy: Hold on. Didn’t we do this already?

Teddy took a look.

Teddy: Yes! He did this years ago! Back in 2023!

Freddy: That’s strange. Wonder why he wants to do another rewrite?

Teddy: Maybe he’s bored?

Freddy: Maybe he has another idea?

Teddy: Don’t know. Wandering Fox, why are you doing ANOTHER sequel trilogy rewrite?

Well. Because I have been feeling a little more in a Star Wars mood. It’s been well over a decade since the sequels began and since then Star Wars has had a massive dent knocked into it no thanks to KK, Iger, and other dimwits at Lucasfilm and Disney. To this day, it baffles the mind how you buy up the biggest pop culture brand at the time and cripple it so badly that you've not only wrecked Star Wars’ value, but it’s now seen as a joke, a battered and worn out battleground of the culture war when it shouldn’t have been there. You’ve had two Star Wars movies flop horribly, a series of failed TV shows outside of The Mandalorian, Maul: Shadow Lord, The Bad Batch and Andor and incredibly uptight and sensitive individuals running Lucasfilm and refusing to listen to criticism. But most of all? You had an entire trilogy that had no real plan, wasted characters and left Star Wars at such a dead end that Disney started to pick pieces out of the past to work with and still failed.

Dave Filoni hasn’t inspired that much confidence thanks to his terrible Ahsoka series, his first movie (though overseen by KK) is a flop, his bizarre support for The Acolyte, and with Starfighter on the horizon, Dave better be getting the hat off to wipe his brow because I bet he’s sweating so much he can fill up a bucket. You can only hope he doesn’t greenlight projects and go nowhere with them and I can easily make a list of all the projects KK greenlit and never made.

A decade on and Star Wars has not recovered from the wreckage that was the sequels. It briefly had a shining moment with The Mandalorian with season 2 being its peak but afterwards the franchise has been staggering around with an open head wound with blood gushing out of it trying to find anything to fix it. Your mind always goes to places wondering exactly how Disney could’ve avoided the sequel trilogy’s idiocy. Well for starters you should’ve made sure an actual trilogy outline was placed out, you should NOT have played it by ball, you should’ve respected all that came before you, softly phase out the original characters without taking a poo on them, and make sure your new characters were actually characters who had a proper story that you cared for instead of doing a whole bunch of mystery boxes and flip flopping on what was what.

So I’m back here with another rewrite and this time I hope this is better than what came before.

Freddy: And let’s hope nobody who likes the sequels starts getting upset.

Teddy: If they like the sequels that’s nice, they shouldn’t suddenly categorise anybody who doesn’t like them as being far right twats.

It’d be nice. So, with my new rewrite I think I should lay out a few things.

What’s Staying?

I’ll keep Finn. I remembered being really interested in him back with the trailers coming out and he looked to be the main character. Many theorised what role he had, was he a spy for the New Republic? Was he a Force user on the run from the Remanent of the Empire? Was he secretly a Jedi apprentice of Luke’s? I was so excited about him but as soon as The Force Awakens began we got a goofy, contradicting character who we’re meant to believe is a hardened but weary Stormtrooper who hates killing and seeing his friends die makes him change his ways, but then he’s all happy to kill his colleagues, can hardly hold himself in a fight, then there was his poor story in The Last Jedi where his character was utterly ruined and turned into a joke. JJ Abrams tried to fix all this in The Rise of Skywalker by teasing Finn was Force Sensitive. Bit late JJ.

In my rewrite Finn is written with respect, his story is more solid and really personal to follow and I feel John Boyega deserved better as Finn so I hope that this trilogy idea does him more Justice compared to how Lucasfilm did him.

I think I'll keep characters like Captain Phasma and General Hux, just rewrite them a bit to make them less of a joke. You got Gwendoline Christie who is not only a good actress but is so bloody tall that you want her to be badass. General Hux is played by a proper good actor, and him being turned into a joke was just bloody dumb as s**t.

Captain Phasma redesign.

I’ll probably kill Han off, just not in the first movie. I’d convince Harrison Ford to stay on as Han for maybe two movies and kill him off in the second. Harrison always said he’d come back if they killed him off but I’d tell him “Look, let’s just have you come back and have Han at his best in the first film, then we’ll kill you off in the second”. It’s always the second film of the Star Wars trilogies we get a big wham moment, The Empire Strikes Back had Han frozen on carbonite and Luke found out his dad is Darth Vader, Attack of the Clones had Anakin lose his hand in a fight with Dooku. Han will die in the second of the trilogy.

Now. This is where I know a lot of people will get really angry at me. And I get it. But here we go.

I’ll keep Rey.

I know, hear me out! I don’t like her either, believe me! But after some convincing by the Media Man he’s urged me to give her a chance! That and I feel bad for Daisy Ridley as well for being casted as such a divisive character when they could have easily had done her better. Thus in my rewrite, Rey is written with far more humanity to her, has a plot of her own and has a real relationship with the characters. I will make this clear: she isn’t tied to the Force. Some people will whine it’s not fair because apparently there was never a female Force user before (Ahsoka, Shaak-Ti, Mara Jade, Asajji Ventress, Adi Gallia, many more say hello). But Leia and Padme were awesome and they weren’t Force users, Leia was a tough princess who was in the thick of the battle and Padme was a compassionate but bold fighter who fought for her people. Heck Padme’s decoy was awesome! What I’m getting at is that Rey could be great without the Force and my story for her is continuing the legacy left by Padme and Leia: a woman who is kind but tough and will risk her life to save others.

Rey redone.

The idea of the First Order being what’s left of the Empire is here, but it’s changed to the Red Hand. It’s made up of loyalists to the empire and to Darth Vader and the emperor which ties in with Finn’s story of turning to the New Republic. The Red Hand is more about taking back what they felt was there’s and to ruin Luke who they feel murdered the emperor and Vader. They are led by a Kylo Ren figure but no Snoke.

Red Hand soldier.

What Is Gone?

Luke isn’t a loser hermit who drinks green milk from an alien tit or tried to murder his nephew. That is gone. Luke is a kind, wise but incredibly powerful Jedi master who has returned the Jedi Order into a brand new era, he allows his apprentices to have relationships, to stay in touch with their families, and he’s a happy husband with a son.

Kylo Ren is gone. I never took him seriously, from his temper tantrums to his face reveal, to his bloody dumb character story in The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker, he was such a dumb moron. He’s replaced by a secret apprentice of Darth Vader who hates Luke and believes he murdered his master. The apprentice is older, around Luke’s age so he’s played by an older actor with a strong presence and has that cold, heartless side that is the total opposite of Luke. Han and Leia do have a daughter instead who’s based on Jaina Solo.

Poe Dameron is gone. He was such a nothing character who was meant to die after Finn helped him escape but somehow survived, and since then Oscar Issac looked so done as the character. His well known “Somehow Palpatine returned” line was said with such dryness that he looked about ready to bugger out of the set.

Holdo is gone. Rose is gone (sorry, I like Kelly but Rose was just not a good character). Almost everything from TLJ and TROFS is gone. Elements of The Force Awakens is still there but you get what I mean.

BB8 is more in the background.

Snoke is gone.

Starkiller Base is gone.

Palpatine does not come back.

The only thing I’d have to factor in is Leia maybe getting killed off. I can’t change the fact that Carrie Fisher died so I’d have to resolve that. I’d maybe have her and Han die together in the second film of the trilogy which leaves a big impact on their daughter, Luke and Chewie.

What Is New?

Well as I mentioned already, the villain is an apprentice of Darth Vader. It’s not a new concept, Vader had a few secret apprentices, like Starkiller. I think an apprentice of his being the main villain of the trilogy would make more sense as a lasting hook to the original baddie and a final dark reminder for Luke to defeat. The apprentice is everything his dad left behind that was negative whereas Luke and Leia are the positive impacts he left. The apprentice wants to carve out the oppressive, cruel and dark grip the Emperor once had. The apprentice will be called Darth Odicius. His name is a nod to the Latin names Odium and Discipilus, Hate and Disciple. I envisioned him as being played by Robert Englund who auditioned for the roles of Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. He’s around Mark’s age, is a good actor and has a strong screen presence and it’d be nice to have Robert get a part in Star Wars. Darth Odicius hates Luke, he believes he’s lying about Vader turning good and murdered him and the Emperor, and it’s implied he’s jealous Mara Jade fell in love with Luke. He wants to create a Dark Army of Force users to not only kill the Jedi but overthrow the New Republic. In truth he is a victim of the Dark Side as Vader had taught him everything he believed about the Jedi, for Vader’s own insecurity, anxiety, fear and jealousy of other Jedi driven him to the Dark Side, thus Darth Odicius believes Luke is continuing the corruption Vader told him of the Jedi. Luke, despite having battled him previously and cut his hand off, still approaches him with compassion and empathy, wanting to give him a chance to repent and to stand trial for his crimes. Darth Odicius does end up really pushing Luke to his limit in the second film once he kills Leia but Luke retains enough of his willpower to not kill him. Darth Odicius does have a child of his own whom he was hoping to raise in the ways of the Dark Side but in the final film, with his plans collapsing and the entire planet falling apart, Darth Odicius chooses to give up his life to save his child and seeing Luke and Finn save him it gives him some form of peace knowing his child will live. Darth Odicius wields two lightsabers, has a robotic hand which is clawed and is incredibly agile.

Owen Skywalker is Luke and Mara’s son. With Disney making Legends non canon I can’t use Ben Skywalker anymore, so I made Owen Skywalker. While he is a well trained Jedi who fights for those who can’t protect themselves and is empathetic to the difficult lives of others he does have a fiery side to him as he is ashamed of his grandfather’s dark legacy with Darth Odicius, often his parents and cousin have to teach him patience instead of giving into such negative emotions. He does start to ease himself upon meeting Finn who’s in a similar boat as he is with his family and seeing he can’t teach him well unless he conquers his own fears and anger, Owen betters himself as a Jedi and does well at training Finn with his father. Owen will go on undercover missions with his cousin in more backwater or rundown worlds to try and get a better understanding of their hardships and how the New Republic can help them as well as finding Force Users to save. Owen first meets Rey, asking her if she has any pieces of imperial data that can be beneficial to the New Republic. Rey is weary of him at first and turns him away which Owen understands. He can sense Finn and seeing he’s trying to flee with Rey he and his cousin call in Han to help and come to their rescue. Owen is a little untrusting of Finn at first thanks to him working for the Red Hand but after his father senses no evil in Finn he’s more willing to trust him, his trust fully earned after Finn helps them free many Force users from Darth Odicius. Owen does have his run in with the Dark Side after the deaths of his uncle and aunt but with help from his family and Finn he regains focus and chooses to fight with the light than the dark. Owen is a redhead who wields a yellow lightsaber.

Jacinda Solo is the daughter of Han and Leia. She shares some similarities to Jaina, only she wields a blue lightsaber rather than purple and she doesn’t have a brother. Like Jaina she is a pilot. While she’s a more dryer witted character she still feels responsible enough to take undercover missions and Owen’s safety seriously. She has a lot of respect for her uncle but is totally a daddy’s girl who loves to make him proud but seeks advice from her mother who she is quite protective of since her mother is the new Chancellor of the Republic. She fights with both fire and charm, agile and quick on her feet but does have her moments where she feels a little hopeless, none moreso than when her mum and dad were killed by Darth Odicius, with her and Owen feeling deeply angry enough they wanted to kill his out of revenge. It took Jacinda more convincing than Owen not to give in but seeing that Darth Odicius had his own child it left Jacinda doubtful of herself if she was any better than him if she killed him. Her and Finn opting to save the child left her heart more at ease.

With Finn the big thing with him is that he is on the side of the Red Hand at first but is not happy being there. He was sent there to serve in the army as pressure by his family who had benefitted greatly from the empire and wanted to stay with the Red Hand which offered the same amount of benefits to them, hoping sending Finn there would make him more up to what they wanted. Finn is the youngest of the family and was looked down upon for not being so vocal on their support for the Red Hand, nor were they pleased he had been researching on Jedi and the Republic. Finn preferred a middle ground to try and approach the New Republic but have his family happy. Finn was good with a gun but protested against Captain Phasma for her savage approach to battle. What driven Finn to finally quit was after he took part in a mission that saw multiple Force users, young and old, removed from their families who were killed. Wanting to free these people and seeing he was on the side of evil, Finn quitted and fled, escaping to a scrap planet where he hoped to grab a ship and get to the New Republic. He ended up inside an old TIE fighter Rey had found and was salvaging. Finn told her he needed a ship to get to the New Republic to which she offered to take him herself. With him and Rey rescued by Han and Chewie, Finn was at first met with doubt by Owen and Jacinda thanks to him being a Red Hand soldier. Finn was nervous at first as he was brought to the New Republic, though he was sternly talked to by Leia he was treated more friendly by Luke who requested Finn come with him. Luke simply heard him out, how Finn was ashamed of his choices and the pain he was left in for the part he played in destroying families. Luke could sense not only was Finn honest, he sensed his ties to the Force and asked him to hold his hand out and move a rock. Finn concentrated and struggled, only managing to move it by a few centimetres, left amazed by his ties to the Force. Finn agreed to be Luke’s apprentice but not until he saved the prisoners as he felt he really needed to make up for it. Finn took them to the prisoners where a big battle occurred with Luke battling Darth Odicius and Finn helped Owen and Jacinda against Phasma and Dark Fighters. The prisoners saved and all returning, Finn was sworn in the Jedi Order by Luke. Finn still struggled greatly even as he trained under Luke and Owen, Mara forced him to be honest with Finn confessing he feels he’s not earned his place in the Jedi thanks to his family’s part in the Red Hand. Luke noted to him he had to overcome his fear of his family while Leia saw it as a chance to try and make peace with them. Finn would go with Rey, R2D2, Owen and Jacinda, the latter of whom would watch from a distance through R2D2. Finn acted as though Rey was his girlfriend and R2D2 was who they had from Leia. Finn would be forced to confront his brother and father whom were angered he betrayed the Red Hand and tried to get him to run a trial to give up his ways of the Jedi. Finn almost felt scared enough to go through with them but recalled everything Luke and Owen taught him as well as Mara urging him to be honest. Finn refused and instead told his family Leia herself sent him there to make a proposal to them to join the New Republic. Finn felt his fear fade bit by bit and came out as a braver Jedi in the final battle, defeating his brother but chose to spare him to show his family the Jedi were not monsters. He found himself being a comforting figure to Jacinda following the death of her parents and would fight his brother Maros in the final battle of the third movie.

Rey is living a similar life in The Force Awakens but instead of living in the desert she’s a pilot who salvages scraps and old ships from battle ridden worlds to make some money to get by. She’s quiet, a bit guarded, though her quiet nature has led to her being seen as suspicious by others with her constantly interrogated by Red Hand agents who think she’s working for the New Republic, trashing up her place even if they find nothing. Rey is getting fed up of the interrogations and thinks of just getting her credits together and leaving. She’s a bit reluctant to help Finn at first but seeing an opportunity to leave she agrees. She’s a bit selfish in this regard and even thought of telling Finn to get in the escape pod so she could ditch him. Owen and Jacinda could sense Rey’s guilt at this and encouraged her to be honest with Finn. Rey confessed she saw him as a means to an end and didn’t think much of it. She hoped he’d forgive her but Finn didn’t her the chance before Luke asked to chat with him. Han tells her to give him time they always come around, he and Leia got there which leaves Rey a bit stunned. Rey does see a chance to start working on Corascaunt but hearing Finn and Luke are leading a rescue mission she chooses to go and help, coming at a good time as it seemed the prisoners were about to be killed. Finn forgave her and Rey was quite glad to be rewarded for her help. Though she continued to work on Corascaunt in its scrap business, Rey was helpful thanks to some info and contacts she had in the criminal market which gave the New Republic a lot of help. Rey would regularly visit Finn at the Jedi temple and even took advice from Han in how to man a few turrets. Her biggest task was to go with Finn to his family to persuade them that the Red Hand wasn’t to be worth working with. Rey bluntly told them she was harassed by the Red Hand for simply getting by, asking if they ever thought of how many innocents were being killed by the Red Hand. Though she was yelled at, Finn stood up and told them if it weren’t for her he’d be dead. Darth Odicius, seeing how much Finn cared for her, kidnapped Rey and forced Finn and Owen to come for her. Rey was tortured by Darth Odicius, who said though she may not be a Force user she would still be broken enough to become a mere soldier, saying he was giving her a new chance at life. Once Owen saved her Rey was on the gun and helped tear apart much of Darth Odicius’s HQ but was gutted that Han and Leia were killed. With the New Republic now in a battle with the Red Hand Rey stepped up to help out, becoming a leading officer in the stealth unit. Rey would help score a few victories and would sneak Finn and New Republic soldiers in on planets. Rey was almost killed in the final battle of the third movie but is saved by Finn who confesses his love for her. With Darth Odicius’s child in their care and Finn knighted, Rey would stand bold and glad to be part of this new era.

The Red Hand replaces the First Order, it’s made up of the former senators and planet leaders who benefitted the most out of the empire as well as big supporters of it, many having lost much of their influence thanks to Leia and Lando forming the New Republic with the Rebellion. Many of the senators and leaders bought into Darth Odicius’s mindset that Luke murdered the Emperor and Vader but wanting to distance themselves from the crumbled empire they altered their entire look, their soldiers now in grey and red armour with more barbaric looking spaceships. The Red Hand created a few weapon forge bases to create many weapons and built training and torture facilities to make Force Users serve the Red Hand, believing they were “righting” them into being the ideal galactic hero. The defeat of Finn’s family was the first big impact the Red Hand had suffered which made them start to lose faith in Darth Odicius but by now he insanely devoted to killing Luke and ending the New Republic he forced them to start creating planet killer weapons, and to prove his point that he was not gonna let them quit he destroyed a Red Hand planet to force them to obey. This would only be the end of the Red Hand as they started to tell the New Republic of what he was doing and were now willing to surrender. Darth Odicius found out and killed them all and made all the Red Hand soldiers serve him, which only led to their defeat.

With Leia killed Lando steps up to become the new Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. It lets Lando not only have a bigger role but he gets to flex his political muscle as an older and wiser man.

The plots of the trilogy will be covered more in the second part of the essay but I will say the first movie follows a similar plot to The Force Awakens, that being Finn quits and meets Rey and end up rescued by Han and Chewie with the big battle taking place on a frozen planet. That’s basically it.

Freddy: So do we end it here?

Teddy: I guess we do.

See you in the next part!

Continued in Part 2...

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